Thursday, June 27, 2013
tulis cerita
dia memang wujud
nyata, bukan jelma syirik
bila dirungkai maksud
tak jumpa walau secarik
jadi aku tulis cerita
supaya dia bernafas
memberi hidup, harap dan kecewa
melawan duga dalam tangkas
on the 27th day
on the 27th day
of the 7th month
a man celebrates
the day he came to be
30 years have passed
9 years of being the youngest
21 years without a dad
13 years after he'd left high school
11 years of doing nothing useful
17 years of being queer
but not even a single year of success
and it has been all but a mess
friends come and go
to strengthen his drive to live a life
his family stands by him like a rock
to see how fast he would tumble and fall
after 2 brothers
3 sisters
3 nephews
and 8 nieces
nothing has changed
not even after 3 in-laws
hairline has receded
pimples that seem to stay forever
drastic weight gain
the same old 5 foot 10 frame
oh yes, the yellow set of pearlies
he hates responsibility
but he loves attention
he hates tidying up
but he loves perfection
he hates people sometimes
but he never forgets them
he's the epitome of prejudice
but he still has some heart
although he seems to fall apart
on the 27th day
of the 7th month
this man celebrates
the day he came to be
9 years of being the youngest
21 years without a dad
13 years after he'd left high school
11 years of doing nothing useful
17 years of being queer
but not even a single year of success
and it has been all but a mess
friends come and go
to strengthen his drive to live a life
his family stands by him like a rock
to see how fast he would tumble and fall
after 2 brothers
3 sisters
3 nephews
and 8 nieces
nothing has changed
not even after 3 in-laws
hairline has receded
pimples that seem to stay forever
drastic weight gain
the same old 5 foot 10 frame
oh yes, the yellow set of pearlies
he hates responsibility
but he loves attention
he hates tidying up
but he loves perfection
he hates people sometimes
but he never forgets them
he's the epitome of prejudice
but he still has some heart
although he seems to fall apart
on the 27th day
of the 7th month
this man celebrates
the day he came to be
bahana pendam
dari luar jendela
nampak dia tersenyum
kejap - tapi mendalam
kaki melangkah tapi tak bisa
berat rasa terangkum
bukan kerna dia Adam
pintu ditolak - ambil masa
bunyi berdentum
getus hati geram
mata perhati - lama
rasa meranum
teriak jiwa ditanam
duduk di meja
surut gesa hati kagum
kurung dia dalam ilham
dia masuk - bertentang mata
assalamualaikum
tiada dibalas salam
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
immortalized
manusia biasa yang hampir sempurna
dipuja, diigau, dibela seadilnya
tapi dia bukan milik kita
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
untitled
semuanya bermula dengan kad Raya
flirting sikit di sini-sana
jujur mengaku aku cinta
tapi maklum rasanya kan seketika
turun ke kenduri Aizat & Syaza
dia diam, aku pun "OK, tak nak jumpa!"
saat pulang ke Kuching, pagi buta
dia kata dia memang ingin bersua
Mac sewaktu kenduri Boy & Sarah
tarikh diikat, masa digubah
4 mata akhirnya bertemu, pandang bersimbah
seksi, kelakar, matang, menggoda, ghairah
rasa memang nak terkam, sumpah
namun dia bak adik, walau tak sedarah
tapi aku takkan lupa satu - penegah
he's no longer single - punah
Jun sewaktu KLAB di Pasar Seni
janji dibuat lagi
dia makin berani
aku hanya mampu bermain di gigi
sumpah - he's a dreamboat, baby!
janji dibuat lagi
bersua besok pagi
this is no longer funny
this is no longer funny
aku tak pernah kesal kenal
aku cuma sesal masa muda meninggal
aku tak sepintar dia
kacak, berketerampil, penuh rasa - semua
walaupun dia milik mereka yang dia cinta
dia takkan jadi milik aku walau dipaksa
so, I'm stayin' low, bein' the untitled...muthafucka
slowly consumed by inferiority - whateva!
buai
tak nampak simpati terbit
umpan pancing apa ada
takkan dapat yang dicita
niat dan nafsu saling keliru
takkan jelas dari bawah pintu
yang terpendam dah tertunai
rampas hak ketika lalai
jadi lain
mereka mahu jadi contoh
namun mereka lupa satu
aku mahu yang aku mahu
bentak tentang bertubi-tubi
takkan mengubah ketetapan hati
nikah kahwin itu Sunnah
tapi ada aku kisah?
mereka kata aku bodoh
kerana nafsu mereka gopoh
memang manis bulan madu
tapi mengapa dinafi buku
bukan sekadar menyatu hati
lafaz nikah itu janji
baru sekali bertelagah
cepat benar menuntut fasakh?
mereka kata aku bodoh
siapa alim berpaksikan bomoh
salah orang tuduh melulu
salah sendiri pandai membisu
pandang kosong persefahaman lari
biar ego menabalkan diri
mana dongeng ditinta indah
mimpi ngeri jua bercambah
mereka kata aku bodoh
konon mereka hanya berseloroh
susah benarkah terima fitrahku
perempuan bukan peledak nafsu
membina hidup tiada yang pasti
sentiasa berserah pada Illahi
jodoh jangan ambil mudah
hidup mati jagalah maruah
refleks
tamat jalan di gaung
berpaling, atau gelincir mengusung
apa ada di bawah sana
hayat, atau penamatnya?
terjun - waras
diserang - nescaya dilawan balas
konflik menyempat
mungkin membawa selamat
bila peluang tiba
hidup ditayang periksa rasa
sedar? hanyut?
belum disebut
yang tinggal hanya kuat
itupun kalau cukup ubat
terjun - bebas, puas, keabadian
lawan - hidup, mati, pilihan
lawan - hidup, mati, pilihan
hos Gala TV
mungkin ada buah persahabatan
bila disapa di alam maya
kau melayan tanpa keraguan
bulan berlalu menjadi tahun
kau langsung berhenti menyapa
aku sedaya tak mahu terjun
ke kolam wasangka dan putus asa
pernah sekali kau bersuara
memberi berita kau tak punya masa
aku berpegang pada kata
biar tiada langsung asal kau bahagia
bila ku lontar pendapat am
kau menyerang tanpa periksa
kalau ku ingin buat kau tergamam
ku tentu takkan melengah masa
memang aku wajib faham
hanya kerana kau yang berjaya
tapi jangan lupa aku pendendam
ragu mu 'kan dibalas bencana
taxi driver
kenderaan bersih bak tiada kuman
hajat di hati mahu berjalan
kelibat dirimu menarik pandangan
bila tiba tengah malam
bila bandar menjadi diam
dirimu bergerak tak kira jam
sembilan dua belas tiga enam
pemandu teksi yang budiman
terima kasih atas perkhidmatan
layanan sempurna menjadi jaminan
tambang dipinta setimpal perjalanan
mata
kini kau tahu mengapa mereka bisu
tiada bunga tiada manis tiada lagu
tiada kehidupan bak di bandar hantu
mengapa kau masih berdiri di situ
kau langsung tak mahu mengatur janji temu
jangan buang masa menunggu di pintu
jika kau belum pulangkan kembali hati ku
i'm not a storyteller, so...
When I stopped from blogging actively almost four years ago, I did
not expect to return to this familiar soil (yet) again. I resorted to
Facebook and Twitter ever since to immortalize my babblings.
I
did try to revive this love of mine many, many times, but I got bored
and removed the posts...to enable the account to stay dormant for God
knows how long.
Anyway, a few days ago, I have made up
my mind. I am going to give myself another shot at this gig...and I no
longer care about what others (and my critical self) will say.
During its heyday, Babblings Of A Serial Lunatic had poems. Heck, half of the blog's content was poems. They were part of what made the blog uniquely mine. Therefore, staying true to what I do and know best (though it will not necessarily make this blog special); there will be poems and only poems in this blog.
Here is to A COMEBACK (within a comeback).
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